Awakened with the news of yet another tragic loss.
Boys and girls celebrating their final days of summer.
Cops flee to the scene, bullets strewn about
Dead. Not one, but two. Others wounded.
Every one of them, young. Kids with lives ahead of them.
Futures cut short by
Gunshots,
Hatred,
Impulse.
Just make it stop.
Kids do not need guns, they need to
Learn to communicate, to understand, to love.
Monday mourning.
No family, no community should have to wake to such tragedy.
One day they will understand
People cannot solve problems with guns.
Quit pretending the laws don't need to change.
Really? Guns don't kill people?
So what would happen if the assholes were holding bananas or rubber bands?
Tell me, would people be dying?
Until we stop making excuses, nothing will change.
Violence does not belong in our communities.
We must find a way to stop it.
X should not mark a Jane or John Doe laying in the street.
You can't give me a good reason, a good excuse. There are none.
Zero.
Monday, July 25, 2016
Sunday, July 24, 2016
Summer Night
Magnificent sky
summer blue and purple hues
sun's fiery glow
Slowly she sinks down
gently retires to the earth
thank you for this day
Saturday, July 23, 2016
Time
The thing about time is that time isn't really real.
It's true isn't it? Time isn't really a thing, it's just a construct created by humans to organize and structure our lives. Time is more like a feeling, a cycle based on the sun and the moon and the rotation of the earth. When we're young we tend to feel like time is standing still, and as we get older it seems time is flying by. I think it has something to do with the ratio of the moment to the length of our lives at the particular moment. For example, when you've only lived nine years and you're stuck in a six hour school day, six hours is a really big chunk of time comparatively. Whereas, when you are forty or fifty, six hours may not feel long enough to spend on something very important. Six hours of time in a forty year life span is much smaller than six hours in a nine year lifespan. Either way...
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
As humans we spend so much of our time working and preparing and saving for a future time. Many of us do this at the expense of enjoying the present time. This job, that job, this investment, this cutback, it's all with the intention of enjoying time later. I get it. We want to relax and enjoy retirement. We want to plan carefully in the earlier stages of life so we may enjoy the last phase, the golden years as they say. And to a certain extent, I agree. But what about right now? Why in the world we choose to sacrifice 50, 60 (or more) years of our lives for an uncertain twenty or thirty? What if we reversed our perspective? What if we lived now, experienced as much as we could in the moments of our young and active lives, and spent retirement relaxing and reflecting on those experiences? I don't want to wait anymore. Life isn't certain. People get sick and get in accidents, and there are no guarantees.
Isn't it a lovely ride? Sliding down, gliding down. Try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
There is such a thing as overanalyzing and trying too hard. Enjoying the passage of time means learning to be in the present. This seems to be a recurring theme in some of my writing lately. Clearly it's a personal journey for me. The past is the past and tomorrow is not a guarantee. Even if it was, over-preparing for it may be futile. In the past couple of years I've started to understand saving is important. You need a safety net if you can create one. But I've also learned my kid won't be a kid forever, and my husband and I may not enjoy or be able to enjoy the same things twenty or thirty years from now that we do right now. So I want to do. I want to spend my time and money living experiences. Sure, we could save all our money and stretch ourselves financially to buy a big fancy house, but why? So we can sit inside of it and not be able to afford in money or time to ever be able to leave it? Not gonna happen. I want to live now. Sliding down and gliding down, enjoying the lovely ride.
It's okay to feel afraid, but don't let it stand in your way.
I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid I won't be able to afford to retire. I'm afraid of the day I lose one or both of my parents. I'm afraid of the day either my husband or I will have to go on living without the other. I'm afraid if I spend money on a vacation that I will find I needed the money for something else. But the truth is, the fear is okay. I see no fear greater than knowing your time is near and feeling like you haven't lived. I never want to have that feeling. I want reflect back and know I lived. I experienced. I loved and enjoyed the company of the people I care about most. I enjoyed the passage of time.
It's true isn't it? Time isn't really a thing, it's just a construct created by humans to organize and structure our lives. Time is more like a feeling, a cycle based on the sun and the moon and the rotation of the earth. When we're young we tend to feel like time is standing still, and as we get older it seems time is flying by. I think it has something to do with the ratio of the moment to the length of our lives at the particular moment. For example, when you've only lived nine years and you're stuck in a six hour school day, six hours is a really big chunk of time comparatively. Whereas, when you are forty or fifty, six hours may not feel long enough to spend on something very important. Six hours of time in a forty year life span is much smaller than six hours in a nine year lifespan. Either way...
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
As humans we spend so much of our time working and preparing and saving for a future time. Many of us do this at the expense of enjoying the present time. This job, that job, this investment, this cutback, it's all with the intention of enjoying time later. I get it. We want to relax and enjoy retirement. We want to plan carefully in the earlier stages of life so we may enjoy the last phase, the golden years as they say. And to a certain extent, I agree. But what about right now? Why in the world we choose to sacrifice 50, 60 (or more) years of our lives for an uncertain twenty or thirty? What if we reversed our perspective? What if we lived now, experienced as much as we could in the moments of our young and active lives, and spent retirement relaxing and reflecting on those experiences? I don't want to wait anymore. Life isn't certain. People get sick and get in accidents, and there are no guarantees.
Isn't it a lovely ride? Sliding down, gliding down. Try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
There is such a thing as overanalyzing and trying too hard. Enjoying the passage of time means learning to be in the present. This seems to be a recurring theme in some of my writing lately. Clearly it's a personal journey for me. The past is the past and tomorrow is not a guarantee. Even if it was, over-preparing for it may be futile. In the past couple of years I've started to understand saving is important. You need a safety net if you can create one. But I've also learned my kid won't be a kid forever, and my husband and I may not enjoy or be able to enjoy the same things twenty or thirty years from now that we do right now. So I want to do. I want to spend my time and money living experiences. Sure, we could save all our money and stretch ourselves financially to buy a big fancy house, but why? So we can sit inside of it and not be able to afford in money or time to ever be able to leave it? Not gonna happen. I want to live now. Sliding down and gliding down, enjoying the lovely ride.
It's okay to feel afraid, but don't let it stand in your way.
I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid I won't be able to afford to retire. I'm afraid of the day I lose one or both of my parents. I'm afraid of the day either my husband or I will have to go on living without the other. I'm afraid if I spend money on a vacation that I will find I needed the money for something else. But the truth is, the fear is okay. I see no fear greater than knowing your time is near and feeling like you haven't lived. I never want to have that feeling. I want reflect back and know I lived. I experienced. I loved and enjoyed the company of the people I care about most. I enjoyed the passage of time.
All italicized lyrics are from "The Secret O' Life," James Taylor 1977
Thursday, July 21, 2016
Change is in the Air
It's a funny little phrase isn't it? Figurative of course, you can't see or hold change. You can however feel it. And all around me the past couple of weeks, I've felt the air of change. It started on the inside with a series of events affecting my perspective and my vision. Then recently I've started to feel it in the air too. The way I've approached some tasks at work, the way I feel when I interact with certain people. A change is on the way. It might be soon, or it might be on the distant horizon. Either way, it's sitting in the air. Only time will tell.
Wednesday, July 20, 2016
Home But Not Home
Traveling for work has its ups and downs. Sometimes it's hard to be away from home. But when you enjoy the company of your co-worker and travel companion, get to have a nice meal out, and your employer puts you up in a nice hotel (each with your own room), it's a nice getaway. Such is the case for me tonight, on a single overnight trip to the Orlando suburbs. Great sushi dinner with my colleague and great friend, and now I'm snuggled up in a king sized bed with a movie in HBO that my husband probably wouldn't watch with me at home.
Here's the added bonus. I'm in a town I used to live in, so I get the familiarity of home and the spoils of travel. I went to a trusted restaurant I've already been to, and I knew just which pharmacy to stop in for a bottle of water and a couple of last minute needs. I know the roads and took my friend a roundabout way back to the hotel to show her where I used to live. I showed her a couple of miles of my old home town.
Tomorrow we'll enjoy a nice breakfast and a day of meetings, and then we will return home. The entire visit will be just over 24 hours, and then we'll return to work on Friday. It's the perfect little summer work vacation. Now I'm off to watch that movie before bed!
Tuesday, July 19, 2016
I Just Can't Take It Anymore
It's just politics, that's all. Really though, I'm not sure it is. I'm not naive enough to think everyone in my life shares the same values and beliefs I have. But, I'm really starting to wonder what's going on. I swore to myself I wasn't going to write anything about the election. I have refrained almost 100% from posting on social media, even commenting on others' posts. Stand strong I tell myself. Don't drink the Kool-Aid. But here's what's happened...
I have avoided voicing my opinion about anything election or candidate related, in person (except in very tight company) and on Facebook (completely). No one seems to be able to discuss anything real. The entire party system is broken and corrupt, and so is the election process. It's absolutely painful to consider the options in the upcoming election. I don't really support either of the candidates and I don't want to abstain from voting, because that's not the answer either. There's a common conundrum amongst people like me. How do we take our right and responsibility to vote seriously when we're just trying to choose the candidate who offends us the least? What the hell are we supposed to do? But believe it or not, that's not the subject of this post.
What's really grinding my gears is the hateful and shameful exchange between people about their candidates and their non-candidates. Let me be clear. I'm not talking about FOX News or CNN. I'm not talking about The New York Times or the The Wall Street Journal. I'm not talking about mudslinging commercials from either campaign. I'm talking about the people I know, the people on my moderate-sized Facebook friends list. I'm in sheer awe of how many people I know who share ignorant and hateful posts, some of them not even legitimate.
If I'm to be completely honest, I should admit I'm not in support of either candidate. However, I would sooner have my toenails pulled out one by one than cast a vote for Donald Trump. Most of the hatred-spewing posts I see are from people who support him. I'm not sure whether they just support the Republican party blindly and unconditionally, or if they actually support Trump. But the things I see, the things some of these people share and spread across social media are like playground battles between middle school students. Say anything mean and hurtful, whether it's true or not, and the one who says the most shocking things wins. And again, I'm just floored at how many of these people I consider my friends. You can't choose or lose friends because of politics, right? Sometimes I wonder how I can be friends with people who are so ideologically different from me. Not that we have to agree on everything, but if we think so drastically different, is it possible to be friends? I don't know. The whole thing is so disappointing.
Let me be fair. Some people share selectively, based on a specific event or tidbit that was striking to them. These people are usually the ones who are following the real issues, rather than the candidates. But some just share everything that comes across their feeds from every extremist, propaganda page they follow. Most of them are hateful and don't even pertain to the current election. Comparing Ivanka Trump to Chelsea Clinton or defending deplorable behavior by pointing out similar or worse behavior by someone on the opposite side. What the hell is the point of that? How does that address the issues? At school we tell our students all the time that you don't explain your own behavior by pointing out the behavior of someone else. That just displaces the blame.
I'm fed up with the election. I'm fed up with all of it. For two rounds we had to listen to the disgusting, hateful, racist remarks about President Obama. We're still listening to them, despite the fact that he's been one of the most successful presidents with the most hatred directed toward him. Now we have to listen to sexist remarks about women, horrifically racist and prejudice remarks about various nationalities and ethnicities. I'm just disgusted by all the lying and mudslinging. I love being American, but I will never support hate of any kind. What in the world is happening to America?
I have avoided voicing my opinion about anything election or candidate related, in person (except in very tight company) and on Facebook (completely). No one seems to be able to discuss anything real. The entire party system is broken and corrupt, and so is the election process. It's absolutely painful to consider the options in the upcoming election. I don't really support either of the candidates and I don't want to abstain from voting, because that's not the answer either. There's a common conundrum amongst people like me. How do we take our right and responsibility to vote seriously when we're just trying to choose the candidate who offends us the least? What the hell are we supposed to do? But believe it or not, that's not the subject of this post.
What's really grinding my gears is the hateful and shameful exchange between people about their candidates and their non-candidates. Let me be clear. I'm not talking about FOX News or CNN. I'm not talking about The New York Times or the The Wall Street Journal. I'm not talking about mudslinging commercials from either campaign. I'm talking about the people I know, the people on my moderate-sized Facebook friends list. I'm in sheer awe of how many people I know who share ignorant and hateful posts, some of them not even legitimate.
If I'm to be completely honest, I should admit I'm not in support of either candidate. However, I would sooner have my toenails pulled out one by one than cast a vote for Donald Trump. Most of the hatred-spewing posts I see are from people who support him. I'm not sure whether they just support the Republican party blindly and unconditionally, or if they actually support Trump. But the things I see, the things some of these people share and spread across social media are like playground battles between middle school students. Say anything mean and hurtful, whether it's true or not, and the one who says the most shocking things wins. And again, I'm just floored at how many of these people I consider my friends. You can't choose or lose friends because of politics, right? Sometimes I wonder how I can be friends with people who are so ideologically different from me. Not that we have to agree on everything, but if we think so drastically different, is it possible to be friends? I don't know. The whole thing is so disappointing.
Let me be fair. Some people share selectively, based on a specific event or tidbit that was striking to them. These people are usually the ones who are following the real issues, rather than the candidates. But some just share everything that comes across their feeds from every extremist, propaganda page they follow. Most of them are hateful and don't even pertain to the current election. Comparing Ivanka Trump to Chelsea Clinton or defending deplorable behavior by pointing out similar or worse behavior by someone on the opposite side. What the hell is the point of that? How does that address the issues? At school we tell our students all the time that you don't explain your own behavior by pointing out the behavior of someone else. That just displaces the blame.
I'm fed up with the election. I'm fed up with all of it. For two rounds we had to listen to the disgusting, hateful, racist remarks about President Obama. We're still listening to them, despite the fact that he's been one of the most successful presidents with the most hatred directed toward him. Now we have to listen to sexist remarks about women, horrifically racist and prejudice remarks about various nationalities and ethnicities. I'm just disgusted by all the lying and mudslinging. I love being American, but I will never support hate of any kind. What in the world is happening to America?
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| Image retrieved from : hollywoodreporter.com |
Monday, July 18, 2016
200
Today is post #200 on this blog. It's amazing really. I've had several other blogs. But the last one, which was my most active and probably has some of my better writing, never even made it to 100. I just checked. I abandoned it at 98 to start this one. I may go back to it one day, but when I set out to start this one it was a commitment to daily writing. Between this blog, a collaborative blog with my writing group, and other writing I do offline, I've spread myself just about as far as I can go.
I set out more than three years ago to make writing a part of my daily life, and I've done that. Here's a list in review (yes, making a list is writing):
I set out more than three years ago to make writing a part of my daily life, and I've done that. Here's a list in review (yes, making a list is writing):
- I started a blog (the one I put on hold)
- I completed my dissertation
- I got together with a friend and started a writing group
- My writing group started a collaborative blog
- My writing group and I did a couple of day writing marathons
- I planned two writing retreats
- I started another blog
- I committed to attending the Sanibel Island Writers Conference in November!
- Plans for a 3rd annual writing retreat are underway.
Add to this all the professional development I've facilitated in the area of writing and any professional writing I've done, and I really have started to make writing a daily part of my life. Celebrating 200, is a reminder that when you take steps to do what's important to you, life becomes much richer. Here's to the next 165. I hope you'll stay with me for the rest of the year.
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