Invitations

Invitation, from the word invite. When we extend an invitation, we are asking someone to do something or to go somewhere. But invitations aren't what they used to be. 

I remember the first birthday party we had for my son after moving to SW Florida. He was in 2nd grade, and we had been in our new home for less than 3 months. We had a gigantic backyard in a wooded area with a canal, and we decided to have the party at our home so the kids could run around and play. We themed it and all, with decorations and snacks. In good form, I am a teacher and he was new to the school, we gave invitations to his entire class and we invited some of his good friends from the east coast as well. We were blown away at the result. Very few people responded to the invitation. It was like RSVP, what's that? We were a little concerned we wouldn't have enough kids to even call it a party. A couple of kids from school actually told Jacob they'd be there and only one of those few showed up. Then half a dozen kids who didn't respond did come. What's up with that? Maybe it's the RSVP that has changed, not the invitation.

But invitations with adults are a problem too. Ever heard of the "open invitation?" This is when people tell you their house is your house, or tell you "anytime you're out this way, please come stay with us." I'm not saying the intention is bad, but if you want me to come visit, if you truly want to spend time with me, invite me. Call me up or shoot me an email and say, "Hey, what are you doing next weekend? Why don't you guys come and visit?" Like, put stuff on the calendar and make a commitment. It's awkward calling you and saying, "Hey, what are you doing next weekend? Can we come invade your space and stay with you?" It's just not good etiquette, even if an "open invitation" has been extended. Open invitations sound more like, "I guess, if you're in the area, you could stay with me." 

The open invitation feels to me a little lazy and disingenuous. I don't want to make plans to get together, but if you call me when you think you might come, I'll see if I can squeeze you in. I know some people really intend for you to feel welcome anytime, but how many people really take others up on their open invitations? I've been given open invitations to visit people all over- to go on their boats, stay in their houses, borrow stuff. I think it's a little awkward. But that's me.

If I want to eat dinner with you, take a vacation with you, go to the park or just for a ride, expect an invitation. I'm. It saying it will come in the mail, lettered in calligraphy. It might be a text, or a phone call, even a FB message. But I will ask you. Here's one now...

I invite you to submit comments, I'm curious what others think.