An Atlantic City Gamble

Still trying to get used to the idea of menstruation, I hated it. Every single period felt like a punishment. Never mind all that becoming a woman stuff, and forget actually understanding what was going on in my body and why. All I knew was for a week each month I would now wear dark colors, no matter what time of year it was. And if I had plans to go to the beach or hit the pool, forget it. Maxi pads and swimsuits just don't mix, and I still hadn't mastered the freakin' tampon. But now it was summer, and my dad and his girlfriend took us to Atlantic City to visit with some family. Great condo, sparkling pool, and my period. Lovely. I bitched and moaned I was not going to the pool, and my sister told my dad why. I was embarrassed, and also nervous. My sister tried to help me with some verbal instructions, and to no avail. My dad's girlfriend took over. I was uncomfortable with the whole thing- the period, the tampon- but also my dad's girlfriend "teaching" me something that was kind of a mom thing. She wasn't my stepmom yet, and my parents split still felt kind of new. I was afraid my mom would feel betrayed if she knew I let my dad's girlfriend share intimate mother-daughter moments with me. I still have moments of concern like this almost 30 years later. But the swimming pool was calling, and I decided the risk outweighed the unexplained but likely assumed reason I wouldn't go in the pool. I wasn't exactly looking for that kind of attention. And just like that, my future stepmom stood next to me in the bathroom, coaching me on one of the teenage girl's rights of passage. On that day, in Atlantic City, I learned to use tampons. And the pool felt great.

Image retrieved from dailymail.co.uk