Three hundred sixty-five days ago I set out on writing mission. Inspired by my friend Helen who was completing a 2015 daily blog, I decided it was a good way to commit myself to daily writing. I had been writing on several different blogs each with varied focus, but this was a chance to capture an entire year, one day at a time. I also resolved to look at life through a more positive lens, and thus the theme of love, and finding as much of it as possible, became part of my mission. Looking back on the year, I am convinced more than ever that love is truly all around us. We just need to look for it, and be open to receiving it. Love, peace, health and happiness to all in 2017.
I haven't been a fan of pop music since I was a teenager, but every now and then a song catches my attention. Usually, if it does, it's because the sound is unique like Paralyzer by Finger Eleven a few years ago. Or, it could be something about the lyrics that has me singing in my head. I am a sucker for a positive message song. A Great Big World gave us one back in 2014, with This is the New Year, and coincidentally it popped up in the shuffle on my iPod today. I was driving down the road, jeep all open, and a chill in the air. The day before New Year's Eve, I found myself reflecting. I just know 2017 is going to be a great year. I can feel it.
Another year you made a promise
I did. I made a promise to make writing an everyday part of my life, and I did. I wrote on this blog nearly everyday, looking for love and finding it in many ways all around me.
Another chance to turn it all around
Every new year is a chance to turn things around. Sometimes it's a small thing, sometimes it's everything. For me it's something small, a personal change. It's not a resolution, just a more keen awareness about something.
And do not save this for tomorrow Embrace the past and you can live for now
I have not yet mastered the control of staying in the present. I'm working on it. But I have certainly learned to let go of a lot, to learn from the past and leave it there. For this year, I need to work on trying harder not to live too much for the future. Have you ever heard someone say if you wait for the perfect time, it will never come. So part of this is seizing the day when appropriate.
Speak louder than the words before you
And give them meaning no one else has found
My writing circle, cheers to us. I am so proud of how much we've grown as writers, as friends, as a collective voice. I can feel our power. Our voices are getting stronger. Each year we have added another devotion. The group. The blog. The retreats. The Sanibel Island Writers Conference. Sounds like at least one of us will produce a big piece of writing this year. Maybe more than one of us!
The role we play is so important
We are the voices of the underground
This year, I made a huge realization about the work we do at PACE. Our organization is speaking loudly, and we are bringing the needs of women and girls to a bigger audience. There is so much more to be done, but it is important work. Right here, right now, I feel I am right where I should be.
Say everything you've always wanted Be not afraid of who you really are
In the end we have each other And that's at least one thing worth living for
I maybe the freest I have ever been to say what I need to say. My husband and my family have always afforded me a safe place to be who I need to be and speak freely from my heart. The amazing women of my writing group have created the safest circle of trust for writing and sharing. And I can even say, my boss and co-workers empower each other to be the most authentic and genuine best we can be. It's given me the confidence and security to make some important decisions this year.
Let's tear the walls down that divide us
Our country has a lot of work to do this year. We have to navigate some rough waters, but I believe we will find a way. We have to.
This is the new year A new beginning
Here's to a healthy and happy and prosperous New Year. Here's to a more peaceful nation and global community. Here's to respect for our earth, and our people. Happy New Year.
It's hard to believe another year is coming to an end. That means this blog project is winding down as well. I have been feeling guilty lately because I've been struggling to keep up. I got quite a bit behind, several times over the past month or two, and I've been looking forward to the final days of this project.
So I took a look back, revisited the first few months and kept going from the start all the way to current day. Now, I'm prepared to cut myself some slack. From January 1st, all the way through August, I never skipped a day. For eight months straight I wrote every single day. Even since then I kept up most of the time. I have decided, instead of kicking myself about the slip-ups, I'm going to celebrate the accomplishment.
Though my creative inspiration wasn't always there, though the writing sometimes felt like a burden, I have completed a piece of writing for every day of the year. I have written tons of poems, reflected on my son's eighteenth birthday and senior year. I have explored nature and processed my experience teaching college. I have celebrate girls, written about love and friendship.
I have found, even though we have had so much tragedy in 2016, love truly was all around me.
Earlier in the year, I did a post about reading photographs. I always planned to get back to doing more if it, but you move on and you forget. Tonight I was flipping through photos and came across this one. I stop and stare at it every time it surfaces. It says so much to me as a mom, as a writer.
It is of course, a photo of my son, and there are some immediate things that strike me about it. Then, there are some things you won't see without my guidance. Things I see when I look a little deeper...
The photo was taken on a family vacation to St. Augustine. We traveled with another family we are friends with, both the kids and adults. The weather was uncharacteristically cold for the time of year. We went to the beach and ate lunch and walked, but it was too cold to wear swimsuits or go in the water. Jacob rolled up his jeans so he could walk on the shoreline without getting his pants wet.
Jacob has deep and beautiful blue eyes, so we often buy him shirts in the color he's wearing. The bright blue of his shirt, the faded blue jeans, and the color of the sky and water, all make this photo so blue. Even the metal railing he's leaning on takes on a blueish-gray hue. He has my curls, and here his hair was grown out and a bit unruly. It has an I don't care kind of feel to it. He's looking at me so seriously. If you don't know him, you might interpret the look as a disgust about my attempt to take his photo. As his mom, I can tell you it's an unassuming vanity. He'll look my way, but he's not going to smile with approval. He's sort of posing.
Notice the way he is sitting. He appears to be relaxed. Both shoulders back, and his leg dropped. I'm not so sure how relaxed he was. As a high school freshman, approaching the end of the year (this was spring break), he was just starting to figure things out. He struggled all through middle school, and he was gaining some confidence as he found high school to be a place he felt more like himself. His face is fuller than it is today. He was definitely starting to look older, but he did not yet have the definition in his face, he does today. His skin hadn't cleared up yet, and his shoulders hadn't squared off.
And his hand. The way his hand is hanging forward, the way he's holding his fingers looks just like his dad. It's funny how you notice things like that, things no one else would see.
This photo represents a pivotal time for Jacob, at least in my eyes. It was the last time I'd see him more as a teenager than a young man. I'll cherish this photo forever. It's one of my favorites. It may say more about me as a mom, than it does about him as my son. That's ok.
Never underestimate the joy you get from spending the day with some friends you love, eating good food, and talking.... especially when there is a spectacular view. As this year is coming to an end, I am excited about the prospect of moving forward in our work as a writing circle. I cherish the group, our writing, our talking about writing, our camaraderie.
Happiness is having friends...
to write with
to laugh with
to eat with
to drink with
to enjoy life with
to share with
