Curly Top

There is no other aspect of my appearance more noticed by people than my hair- at least according to comments I get from friends, family, and strangers. My stylist tells me people pay her tons of money to get curls like mine, and my own sister who has beautiful thick hair, still talks about mine with envy. Girls at work make assumptions about my ethnicity and nationality, and my friends joke with me about how big my hair can get when the weather is not on my side...

"I bet you hate it. Everyone wants what they don't have, right?" Like I never heard that one before. "So do you wish you had straight hair?" There's no right way to respond to people who ask these questions and make such comments. I must hear them on average once a week. Even more if I have to the occasion to be around a whole bunch of people I never met before. Just the other night at yoga, I walked in after rushing home from work, changing clothes, and rushing out the door to get there. "Oh. My. Gosh. You have great hair."

The obvious answer to all of this is, "Ugh. I hate my hair. Yes, I wish it was straight." But the thing is, I don't hate it. And I don't wish it was straight. But if I responded with, "Thick curly hair is fabulous," they would either think I was lying or they would say I was a bitch. Let me rewind for you and tell you how the conversation usually goes...

"Oh my G-d! Your hair is gorgeous! Is it natural or is that a perm?" With an appreciative half smile and an internal eye roll, I answer, "It's natural." Sometimes I even provide an obligatory self-deprecating comment, because that's what I'm supposed to do. Right? "Do you think I would pay money to do this on purpose?" was my standard line for a long time. It was followed by a sheepish chuckle. Then, while I am halfway ignoring the oohs and ahs I'm thinking what the hell is wrong with me? Why isn't it okay for me to love what is arguably my best feature?

"Oh," they say with their adoring smiles and fondling fingers. "I would pay anything to have your hair." Then they help themselves to a handful. Sometimes that's enough to satisfy them, but sometimes it turns into 20 questions about what products I use and how I style it. Then they gasp and stare as I tell it to them simple: Good shampoo and conditioner every day, despite stylist and fashion magazines' advice not to, and a single styling product I love- Biolage Gelee. Finger it in, shake, and go. "That's it," I say. "Yep. I don't even own a hairdryer."

It's amazing, in the media, magazines, TV and the movies, everyone has flattened straight hair. Famous people once known for curly hair, some of Hollywood's most gorgeous curly tops (Julianna Margulies, Nicole Kidman, Deborah Messing) are blowing their hair straight. Meanwhile people all around me are telling me they wish they had hair like mine. Call me a bitch if you wish, but I'm shouting it out now from here to the highest mountain tops, "I love my wild curls." There. I said it.

My friends like to kid me about my hair, and it doesn't bother me one bit.
It's all in good fun, and there are days like this more often than I wish.

Actually, this is pretty much what I do- after washing it!