Love is a Rose

Love is a rose but you better not pick it

Only grows when it's on the vine

Handful of thorns and you'll know you've missed it
Lose your love when you say the word mine

These are lyrics from Linda Ronstadt's 1975 single Love is a Rose. Admittedly, I was only a couple of years old when the Prisoner in Disguise album hit the shelves. But I grew up listening to several of Ronstadt's greatest hits albums, courtesy of my parents who were big fans. This song is one of the ones that stuck with me. Like so many others you listen to throughout the years, for me this one was memorized with little consideration for what the lyrics were actually saying. As a kid, how would I have understood the heart of the matter anyway?

Tonight, I pulled up the lyrics to have a look. I knew most of them, but there were a few holes here and there in my memory. Though I had sung the words of the chorus (included above), I never gave them much thought. I got to thinking about a conversation I had years a go with my husband. He was complaining about a friend needing permission from his wife to do something- go somewhere with the guys. I distinctly remember our discussion of how grateful we were to not be that kind of couple. Sure, we check with each other to see if we have plans or obligations on the calendar we need to do as a couple or a family before making individual plans. But we do not ask, nor do we need to ask for permission from one another to do anything (except large purchases with family funds). I even got a laugh about his friend. I turned to my husband and asked him, "Does it ever bother you that you married such an independent person?"  His response was priceless.

"No way. That's by design." He winked at me and smiled.

I think Ronstadt was saying the same thing. Love grows when the people in the couple allow each other to be their own individuals. When you try to "own" someone, and keep her all to yourself, she can no longer grow. She needs to be planted in the soil and grounded in the earth to live. Once she is plucked and isolated in a vase, her days are numbered. She will eventually wilt and die. Love isn't about isolating a person and keeping her all to yourself, it's about nurturing her and helping her grow. When something or someone is as beautiful as a rose, her beauty should be shared with the world.

I am grateful my husband not only supports but encourages my independence. He allows my garden to bloom in full force, and he's expert at avoiding the thorns.

Photo retrieved from: https://grndoordesign.wordpress.com/tag/roses/