How Do You Know?

I wrote several months back about my dog who had been very sick. We thought she had cancer, and it turned out she had a diseased kidney. Still does. But after some treatment she bounced back a bit. We went from a couple of weeks sobbing daily over what we thought was our dying dog, to feeling blessed that she bounced back most of the way and was seeming like herself again. She was not young for a dog, and the kidney was still bad, but she was energetic again and eating regularly. All the happiness however, we knew was on borrowed time. We knew every additional day we had left with Lacey was bonus time. She was never going to completely recover long-term, especially without removing her bad kidney. Based on those horrible weeks and Lacey's reactions to the procedures she had already experienced, combined with a low likelihood she would be healthy even afterward, we elected not to have her kidney removed. We decided as a family, as long as she was comfortable and happy, we would spoil her and enjoy our time with her until she seemed to suffer discomfort or take a turn for the worse. At that time we would bring her in and let go of her peacefully. The thought of her being in pain, or dying traumatically in our home were scenarios we couldn't bear.

We've had a great couple of months. But recently Lacey's condition has been questionable. She's slowing down considerably, not eating all that regularly, and can no longer make it the full distance on our daily walks. She can jump up on the bed but is hesitant to jump down. She still wags her tail and comes to the kitchen to beg, and those are both good signs. It's becoming more and more difficult to know what's right. Another trip to the vet is likely to yield a list of things the doctor wants to do, surgeries, procedures, etc. We know from last time it would just stress her out. So we're left with our gut instinct. We are left with trying to make the best of the time left, and knowing when it's time to say goodbye. When you love your pet this much, how do you know?