Preparing for Empty Nesting

Things are changing. I am changing. On the one hand, I feel crushed when I think about the fact I only have a little over a year before I prepare for my son to leave the house. As he prepares to go off to college I will miss him so. He's been at the center of my existence for almost 18 years! But on the other hand, the feelings are bittersweet. Where once I was trying to ignore our inability to conceive another child (read about that here) while trying to make decisions, with thoughts like but what if we have another child? What if we get pregnant?  Now my husband and I think, soon it'll just be the two of us. Wow, just the two of us. Many of our decisions lately have been predicated on this notion that soon we will be empty nesters. Yikes! We're entering another phase of our lives, and we are planning our living quarters, our vehicles, and our overall lifestyle around this. It feels kind of crazy, but in a good way.

We have decided a couple of things... as I wrote yesterday we have decided there's great possibility we will eventually move to, or near the beach. It won't be a sleepy beach town where the nearest Publix is too far to get ice cream home before it melts, or where we have to get on the highway to get to a movie theater or Target. But there will be a view and the beach will be at least in biking distance. We can enjoy living in Florida and choose to treat any day like it's a vacation.

When selecting our next home, we're renting now so there will definitely be a next home, we are not sure whereto we will buy or rent. There are definitely advantages to owning your own home, but we've done that a few times already, and there's also a freedom to not owning a home.  We are not prepared to make that decision yet. Only time, situation, and location will tell. Along those same lines, when we were young and still family planning, we wanted a good size house with land, a pool, and space to entertain. Ha! We were told countless times by others that we had a party house, but we could never gather up enough people who we thought would come to a party "way out" where we lived, so I think we may have had two parties total in the 7 years we lived in our last house. And the pool? It was nice, but so is the one up the street at our clubhouse now. We have downsized already, and we're prepared to downsize more if necessary to find the right place to live. More house means more unused space and higher electric bills.

Let's talk cars. I have always driven an SUV. I'm sorry if I offend any of my friends or relatives, but I never wanted to be a minivan mom. Didn't like them. Didn't want one. Never got one. Carpooling, camping, and the possibility of more children meant I needed a bigger, carseat conducive, camping and sports gear ready utility vehicle. I had a Jeep Cherokee, then a 3-row Honda Pilot. When we finally realized there were no more babies, and my Honda had 100,000+ miles, we traded it in for a Jeep Liberty. It's a great car, no complaints. But it's our primary family car and it's pushing 110,000 miles. Our pick up truck has been allocated to our son, who will upon high school graduation, be gifted it. That leaves my husband's toy, the VW Bug in the garage. we have no car payments on any of the vehicles.

So here is our new, on our way to be empty nesters plan: This morning, we put a deposit down on the new Tesla3. We've been following Tesla Motors and waiting for the release of this car for quite some time. It will be at least a year and a half before we actually get the car. Our plan, with fingers crossed, is to keep the Liberty until the Tesla is ready.  In the meantime, the toy in the garage? It's going to turn over and get us a new toy. My husband is going to sell the bug and we're going to get an open jeep! We have both kind of fantasized about having one, and this might be the only toy my husband would give up the bug for. It is going to be our weekend, and summer night cruising vehicle and I can't wait. I am probably going to have to rethink my hair a bit, but this wild mane is ready to blow wild and free!

   

So fret not about watching your kids grow up. As much as we wish them little and cute forever, the mark of our successful parenting is when they leave the nest for independence, and we can reclaim  our own. Don't get me wrong, I'll be crying my eyes out when he pulls away, but we'll be on a new journey of our own as well. And there will always be an extra bed in the nest when my chickadee wants to come home for a visit.

Image retrieved from amarillomagonline.com