It's Not That Hard

At least not for us. That's what my husband and I talked about over our sort of belated anniversary dinner out tonight. I expressed to him I felt a little disappointed, deflated the past few days because we didn't plan anything special for our anniversary. We celebrated 20 years of marriage this week and I felt like it should have been a bigger deal. How many people do you know anymore who have been married for 20 years? For the first time, no less. We talked about going away for the weekend, explored different ideas, and never made plans. We brought in take-out Chinese food after work, relaxed on the couch with some iPad games and a little TV, and went to bed. Like any other night. Okay, it was during the week, no big deal. We'd go out and do something special over the weekend. Maybe try a new restaurant, splurge on a fancier night out than usual. But no, we ended up eating sushi after trying and leaving one restaurant because there was an hour and a half wait- can you imagine? Seriously, no restaurant in Fort Myers (or anywhere?) is worth waiting that long.

So there we were, sitting quietly and waiting for our ginger salads. I told him how I was feeling. I wasn't blaming either one of us or anyone else, but I just felt a bit bummed we didn't do something, didn't celebrate in a bigger way. He told me I get more upset over stuff like that than he does. Believe it or not, it didn't upset me to hear him say that. It is probably true. Then I said maybe it wasn't such a big deal. "After all, it's not like it was hard." He smiled. "Right?" He agreed and we realized maybe we didn't make it such a big deal because there was never any doubt for us we would be sitting there, celebrating 20, 30, 50 anniversaries. It just isn't that hard for us to be married.  I feel badly for those who may have once thought that and were disappointed. But I just know it is this way for us. If there is such a thing as soulmates, we are it. We do marriage well. It's not that hard. At least not for us.

       This is one of my favorite pictures of us in recent years. St. Augustine, Florida. 2013