Monday, January 4, 2016

What is love anyway?

If you're not a fan of George Carlin, it can only be for one of two reasons. Either you have a problem with his graphic language or you've never even heard his stuff. The world had to say goodbye to George when he died in 2008. But my husband and I have always loved his stand-up and we were fortunate to have seen him a few years before he died, thanks to an anniversary gift from my dad and step-mom. He was satisfyingly funny to say the least, but nothing beats his older stuff. 

Just as you often have song lyric or a movie line reference, my husband and I often have a Carlin bit for any occasion. As I've been engaging in a lot of contemplation and research about love lately, I couldn't help but recall this hilarious bit he does about love. It starts with the many ways we say hello and goodbye to each other, and then he goes on a rant about people who upon saying goodbye ask you to send or give their love to someone else. It's hilarious. The whole bit is good and if you can take a few minutes (and some bad language) I encourage you to watch the whole thing. But if you need to get right to the part about love, it starts at a little after the 4 minute mark. Check it out:


This got me thinking about the act of love as opposed to the thing love. We fall in love, share love, make love, send our love, and give our love. In this sense it s a thing. In language arts we would call love an abstract noun. You can't visibly see it or hold it in your hands. It's more an idea. When I looked up love in the Merriam- Webster American English Dictionary, the word appears with a simple definition as a noun, meaning a feeling of strong or constant affection. Feeling = noun. So love is a noun. Of course dig a little deeper and you'll eventually find a couple of examples of how love can be used as verb as well.

Conversely, when I pulled up the Cambridge Dictionary, which is a British English dictionary, the simple definition of love appeared first as a verb. The three definitions were to like someone very much and have sexual feelings for them; to like a friend or person in your family very much; and to like something very much. Interesting too, this dictionary defines love in terms of a greater degree of liking. But still, to the Brits, love is a verb above all else.

A couple of years ago, John Mayer released the album Born and Raised (great album by the way) with a song titled Love is a Verb. Soon after I purchased the album, my son and I were listening to it in the car one day and not surprisingly, as he shares my love of lyrics, he told me he really liked this song. Here are the lyrics (video posted at the end):

Love is a verb
It ain't a thing
It's not something you own
It's not something you scream

When you show me love
I don't need your words
Yeah love ain't a thing
Love is a verb
Love ain't a thing
Love is a verb

Love ain't a crutch
It ain't an excuse
No you can't get through love
On just a pile of I-O-Us

Love ain't a drug
Despite what you've heard
Yeah love ain't a thing
Love is a verb
Love ain't a thing
Love is a verb

So you gotta show, show, show me
Show, show, show me
Show, show, show me
That love is a verb

Love ain't a thing
Love is a verb



John Mayer makes a pretty good case. He presumably submits to the notion of actions speak louder than words. If you agree with him, then Rebecca, Claus, and Wilhelm can't send their love, but they could just deliver messages. Rather than accept responsibility for the temporary possession and delivery of sent love, could Rebecca not just say, "Tell Claus I love him." Case closed. Of course no one says love can't be both, right?

-with love

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