Love Thyself

In contemplation for much of the past 24 hours, I've reflected quite a bit on the start of a new year in the context of this new blog. This year, throw out the resolutions. Banish the idea of empty promises and personal failures. Join me instead, in affirmations of self love. Let 2016 be the year you love YOU!

You, yourself, as much as anybody else in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.      

-Buddha

What does it mean though, to love yourself? Consider this:

• How many things have you said to or about yourself that you would never say to someone you love or care about?
• What kinds of things have you done to yourself, your body, that you would never do to someone you love or care about?
• What have you deprived yourself of that you really needed or wanted? 
• Would you rob someone you love of these same things?

We have all heard it from various sources, from philosophers to doctors to self-help gurus. If you don't love yourself, it is difficult to love others and to accept the love of others. If in the New Year we resolve to be kinder to others,  kindness usually comes from being happier ourselves. Happiness begins with self-love. If in the New Year we resolve to be physically healthier, we must treat our bodies like they deserve to be healthy. Healthy body begins with self-love.

Instead of resolutions this year, I am returning to affirmations. These have worked so well for me in the past, I'm not sure why at times I allow myself to get away from them. But self-love means no self-loathing, no self-punishing for things in the past and unchangeable. Rather than revisit the cruel things I have said and done to myself, I am going to affirm in a self-loving way, what is. Not what will be, not what I will try. Just what is. Affirmations don't promise what will be some day, they simply say what is. The power of what we say to ourselves with words can be highly impactful.

To truly treat myself with love, I need to affirm what I know I have in me. This will remind me everyday of all I am and all I need to nourish inside me. We are much better at affirming these things in others we love, it's time we start affirming them in ourselves!

1. I am healthy in mind, body, and spirit.
2. I am surrounded by love.
3. I radiate love and positivity.
4. I am a writer.
5. I am mindful.
6. I have talent and creativity that contribute to the world around me.

I have found one of the best ways to ensure I say my daily affirmations (and they are supposed to be spoken aloud) is to print them out on full size paper and hang them in my closet. I say them to myself out loud while I am getting dressed. I've heard of other people putting them on their mirrors, or on the wall in their bedrooms. I'm not kidding, it really works. We have the power within us to change the way we think and what we believe, and in turn our actions begin to change as a result.

It is also wise to revisit the questions I posed about self love. Why are we so quick to call ourselves stupid or fat? Why are we willing to work overtime, but not make time to read a book or go for a walk, or attend our kids' practice? Would you ever tell your best friend to bring work home and say, "Forget about a walk, who needs fresh air?"  Would you ever tell your partner, "No, don't order your favorite it'll make you fat?" If we make the commitment to self love, we need to speak to ourselves and treat ourselves the way we do others we love. 

Start by doing something or giving yourself something you love. You can even make a list of all the things you love:

I love to write. 

I love to read. 

I love to go out for sushi. 

I love to go to concerts. 

I love to spend time in nature. 

I love to go places with my family. 

I love dark chocolate. 

I love riding my bike. 

Why should I deprive myself of any of these things? They all in some way support my affirmations. Notice, nowhere on the list does it say stay inside, work more, insult myself, or deprive myself of the things that bring me happiness. It all starts today.

-much love