Revolution Rising

Feeling my way through the darkness

Guided by a beating heart

They've been telling me I'm ready for a revolution. One of them said I have a big change coming. It's been stirring for some time. Another said it's my age. This just happens, and the fog is starting to lift. 

I can't tell where the journey will end

But I know where to start

As the fog begins to clear and I spend more time in a state of introspection, I finally recognize where the start button is. I'm not sure what's going to happen, or where my dreams and desires will take me. But one thing is increasingly clear. I cannot, I will not, sit around and wait for things to happen to me.  It's time to make some decisions. It's time to take then bull by the horns so to speak and stop letting life get in the way. My child is a man. He's creating a life for himself and it's time for me to recreate my own.

They tell me I'm too young to understand

They say I'm caught up in a dream

Who the hell are they anyway? Enough with the condescension and the insistence I haven't lived enough or worked enough or experienced enough. Enough with the appeasements with the promises that it will all come. I have worked hard enough. I have been patient enough. Fuck. Them. All of them. 

Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes

Well that's fine by me

Now my eyes are open wide. They've been squeezed tight enough, closed with just a crack between my lids. And now the shutter is open, the lens is wide and gaining focus. I'm starting to see what I have to do. I will not let life pass me by. Not anymore.

So wake me up when it's all over

When I'm wiser and I'm older

I'm awake now. I'm wiser and older and smarter and braver. My sanity is on the line, my livelihood.  Wiser and older means just a little more selfish, not in a bad way but a healthy way. What's that they say, we have to take care of ourselves before we can take care of others.

All this time I was finding myself

And I didn't know I was lost

Maybe I knew I was lost, but not in the way I thought. So many things are coming together. I'm understanding myself and the balance of all the parts. Sometimes the perfect storm brings a sort of chaos, sending you flying off your feet, off your center. But as the storm begins to clear, there's a clarity that wasn't there before, like the storm washed away the funk and the grit and the scum.

I tried carrying the weight of the world

But I only have two hands

And it's not my job anyway. I'm not G-d, I'm not Gaia.  I have a part. But I can't be everything to everyone. I can't fix everything or solve every problem. And recognizing this and admitting it doesn't make me lesser, not personally or professionally. Damn it, it just makes me human.

I'm ready to prioritize. I've got my head and my heart in the game, and I think they're finally talking to each other. I'm setting some things aside, and moving onto others.  There's a revolution rising in me and I'm suiting up. 

Lyrics from "Wake Me Up," by Avicii