It's true isn't it? Time isn't really a thing, it's just a construct created by humans to organize and structure our lives. Time is more like a feeling, a cycle based on the sun and the moon and the rotation of the earth. When we're young we tend to feel like time is standing still, and as we get older it seems time is flying by. I think it has something to do with the ratio of the moment to the length of our lives at the particular moment. For example, when you've only lived nine years and you're stuck in a six hour school day, six hours is a really big chunk of time comparatively. Whereas, when you are forty or fifty, six hours may not feel long enough to spend on something very important. Six hours of time in a forty year life span is much smaller than six hours in a nine year lifespan. Either way...
The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.
As humans we spend so much of our time working and preparing and saving for a future time. Many of us do this at the expense of enjoying the present time. This job, that job, this investment, this cutback, it's all with the intention of enjoying time later. I get it. We want to relax and enjoy retirement. We want to plan carefully in the earlier stages of life so we may enjoy the last phase, the golden years as they say. And to a certain extent, I agree. But what about right now? Why in the world we choose to sacrifice 50, 60 (or more) years of our lives for an uncertain twenty or thirty? What if we reversed our perspective? What if we lived now, experienced as much as we could in the moments of our young and active lives, and spent retirement relaxing and reflecting on those experiences? I don't want to wait anymore. Life isn't certain. People get sick and get in accidents, and there are no guarantees.
Isn't it a lovely ride? Sliding down, gliding down. Try not to try too hard, it's just a lovely ride.
There is such a thing as overanalyzing and trying too hard. Enjoying the passage of time means learning to be in the present. This seems to be a recurring theme in some of my writing lately. Clearly it's a personal journey for me. The past is the past and tomorrow is not a guarantee. Even if it was, over-preparing for it may be futile. In the past couple of years I've started to understand saving is important. You need a safety net if you can create one. But I've also learned my kid won't be a kid forever, and my husband and I may not enjoy or be able to enjoy the same things twenty or thirty years from now that we do right now. So I want to do. I want to spend my time and money living experiences. Sure, we could save all our money and stretch ourselves financially to buy a big fancy house, but why? So we can sit inside of it and not be able to afford in money or time to ever be able to leave it? Not gonna happen. I want to live now. Sliding down and gliding down, enjoying the lovely ride.
It's okay to feel afraid, but don't let it stand in your way.
I'm afraid of a lot of things. I'm afraid I won't be able to afford to retire. I'm afraid of the day I lose one or both of my parents. I'm afraid of the day either my husband or I will have to go on living without the other. I'm afraid if I spend money on a vacation that I will find I needed the money for something else. But the truth is, the fear is okay. I see no fear greater than knowing your time is near and feeling like you haven't lived. I never want to have that feeling. I want reflect back and know I lived. I experienced. I loved and enjoyed the company of the people I care about most. I enjoyed the passage of time.
All italicized lyrics are from "The Secret O' Life," James Taylor 1977
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