Ear Worm

I've got a lot of really great people in my life. I have the best parents and sister, a loving husband and son, extended family, supportive and loyal friends, and outstanding co-workers. And every now and then one of them happens to step it up, right when you need them. I've written about my best awesome friend, my college pal, and writing group,  my sister, and other parts of my family. There are just too many posts to link. But today, I'm particularly grateful for another one of my special friends. I think Helen truly understands me. It's no secret she's a little bit older than me, and I feel like she's often paving the way for me. She's kind of my guiding muse, always helping me to dig deep and better understand my place in life and my place in the universe. We have quite a few common interests, including writing and music, and of course we're both educators. Her book and music recommendations are always on point, and this week was no different. Today I realized she gave me an ear worm. Not the annoying kind that taps on your brain like Chinese water torture, but the kind that sits in your conscious thoughts because it needs to be there. It's just perfect for where you are. Right now.

Helen & Me at an NWP Summer Institute writing marathon. 

Last week Helen and I had a lunch date where and when we began to put together our ideas for our 2nd annual Women's Writing Retreat coming up in May. As always, she brought some fantastic ideas and we bounced a whole bunch of stuff off each other as we hashed out the tentative agenda. We continued to message back and forth throughout the weekend as our brains continued to churn in excitement. In all her brilliance, Helen thought it would be fun to post teasers on our FB event page to get attendees excited about the event and thinking in line with our later-to-be-announced theme.

She shared with me, Brave by Sara Bareilles which I downloaded, along with the rest of the album The Blessed Unrest. It's an uplifting, feel-good song and I can't stop listening to it! (Listen for yourself below.) But more than the catchy cheerful tune, when I found myself singing the lyrics in my head all day, it became clear to me this ear worm had a purpose. My friend Helen has done it again. This is my new anthem, and I can't ever imagine being sick of it. Is there anything better for the opening line of an ear worm than the words, You can be amazing?

You can be amazing

You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug

You can be the outcast

Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love

Or you can start speaking up

Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do

And they settle 'neath your skin

Kept on the inside and no sunlight

Sometimes a shadow wins

But I wonder what would happen if you

Damn! Words hurt more when we keep them inside than when we say what we have to say. Keeping them on the inside with no sunlight? They're like dying plants. But what would happen if you...

Say what you wanna say

And let the words fall out

Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say

I have been belting this out at the top of my lungs in the car each time I hear it. Sara, Helen, telling... and me affirming to myself to be BRAVE! I've never been one to shy away from my feelings. I have a hard time holding back, and people think I'm speaking my mind. But man, sometimes it's all a bullshit facade. Sometimes you think you're getting the real me and as brazen as I appear to be at times, it's only the half of it. I wanna be brave. I wanna let all the words fall out without worrying where they land and what other people have to say about it.

Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down 

By the enemy

Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing

Bow down to the mighty

Don't run, stop holding your tongue

Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live

Maybe one of these days you can let the light in

Show me how big your brave is

I'm going to stop running, stop holding my tongue (or at least my pen). I am going to stop getting in my own way. Helen also posted some words of wisdom about challenge today. Fuck challenge! I am ready to do the work my dream is asking me to do. And let me just tell you, I am going to show how big my brave can be! Thank you Helen for the world's greatest ear worm. I love and cherish you.