I Am Happy

Someone at work said to me today, "You actually look good today." Can you believe that? I thought to myself, actually? Sounds rough. There was a time this comment might have sent me over the edge. I might have spouted off to some others about how f-ing rude I thought the person was to say something like that. But not today. Today, I was well aware she didn't mean anything by the comment. It likely came from several weeks of my less than cheerful, unhealthy appearance due to horrific allergies. After over a month of make-up free days because of swollen and itchy eyes, I have recently been able to return to my old self. I usually don't wear much make-up, but I always dress my eyes a bit in a neutral color eye shadow and some mascara. I have naturally long eye lashes and it brightens up my face a bit (Oy, I just sounded like my mom and my sister all rolled into one.). I think I knew where she was coming from, and anyway this came across my FB feed this morning:

I posted it with wise words from Master Jedi, Yoda who said, "Do. Or do not. There is no try." Truthfully, I think I got it backwards on my status update, but you get the point. I made the decision today to be happy. I've been working on this. Trying. But today, when I saw this I knew there was no try, only do. Earlier this week in yoga class, we closed with a meditation and my instructor told us to decide on a sankalpa- an affirmation- and to say it to ourselves three times. It was a tough Monday following a not so great weekend. I knew if I was going to make it through the week I had to make a mindset change, and relaxation yoga on Monday night is extremely helpful for this. Very simply, I chose I am happy. I know I have struggled lately with an overall feeling of happiness. The day to day moments and people in my life are wonderful, but I've had a hard time feeling fulfilled. So I affirmed to myself, I am happy. And I gotta tell you, it's working. Albeit slowly, but it is definitely working. When I saw this today, it was a gentle reminder. We have a choice in the way we feel. We can allow everything and everyone around us to make us feel as though we have no choice and our feelings are controlled by external forces. But it simply isn't true, and I'm starting to get the hang of it. So far this week, I am brave and I am happy... and I'm writing. So either writing makes me brave and happy, or feeling brave and happy helps me write. Quite frankly, it matters not to me in which order it happens, as long as it does.

~Peace